Every semester I start my Conversation class off with a discussion about culture. I ask them to think about their own culture and what elements make up Dominican culture. Inevitably, someone will mention mofongo. This comment will be followed in quick succession by another: mofongo mocano. 
That is to say, according to my students,  the truest form of mofongo (and the most delicious) comes from Moca, a smallish town about 20 minutes outside of the Santiago city limits. 
And every semester, I experience the same expressions of horror and chorus of gasps when I mention I haven't yet tried this national treasure. 
So when the lovely Alexis and her beau Rolando invited me for a little Sunday road trip to remedy the situation, I could barely contain my excitement. 

The road trip started, like all good road trips, on a lazy, sunny Sunday with an ice cold beer to go and a crispy fried quipe (a Dominican street food staple). 
Rolando had the radio turned up and the windows rolled down and I'm pretty sure I didn't stop smiling the whole 20 minute trip. 

We made Rolando pull off to the side of the road so we could pop out and snap a few pics by the giant Moca sign. 

A is for Alexis!

M is for Molly!
(Poor Rolando, there wasn't an R)

Soon we were pulling up to the famous "Mi Terraza," a thatch roofed shack worthy of any "Diner, Drive-ins, and Dives" episode. 

The menus,  fittingly, are in the shape of a pilón, the wooden mortar and pestle used for mashing the mofongo into creamy deliciousness. 

We decided to order two types of Mofongo: the clásico (mashed plantains, garlic, and chicharrones), and completo (mashed plantains, garlic, longaniza, chicharrones, cheese)
Chicharrones, you may remember, are crispy fried slabs of pork belly. 
Longaniza, on the other hand, is a typical Dominican seasoned pork sausage. 

We sat right next to the kitchen, close enough to hear the pork rinds sizzling in their own fat (yummm) and to catch a few glimpses of the chefs pulverizing the plantains.
I was too shy (and with that realization any notion I had of being a sassy world-traveling journalist was instantly shattered, haha) to ask to snap a photo, but luckily Rolando saved the day and snuck around the door to capture these candid pics.
(Resolution number 1: be more brave!)

See that  blue garbage barrel-- it´s full to the brim with chopped plantains!!  just waiting to hit the hot oil. 

Soon our server was bringing us two heaping, HEAPING, mounds of mofongo. 

That was my best attempt at a look of shock, haha, although it looks more like I am frightened than anything. And actually, probably with good reason. Mofongo is not for the faint of stomach. Basically, its fried plaintains, fried pork belly, and a handful of garlic all mashed together, smothered in cheese, and served with a side of beef broth. 
Imagine mashing together French Fries, bacon, and garlic and then stuffing the mixture with sausage and cheese, and you´ll get something similar. 

Here´s a closer look at the beauty, or I suppose, the beast, depending on how you  want to see it. 
Whatever you decide, you simply can´t call it anything else but delicious. 
Creamy, crunchy, chewy, gooey. 
Smiles all around. 

(My personal favorite part, finding a bite with a particularly crispity-crunchity morsel of pork rind.)

By the time we left, a line was filling out into the street just to get their hands on their own helping of Dominican gold. 

With my diet thoroughly and happily ruined for the day (did I mention I ate brownies for breakfast?), we decided to go all out and continue the binge back in Santiago with the newly opened Sweet Frog.

The idea is that you get to pick your own frozen yogurt and top it with anything you'd like from the eye-popping selection of goodies. You then pay by the weight of your cup. For those who like their ice cream chock-full of chunky topping goodness, like me, this is paradise. 

I opted for 4 different types of frozen yogurt (pistachio, turtle, snickers, and sweet coconut), and an eclectic mix of just as many toppings (twix bars pieces, cookie dough bites, mango bubble things, and gummy bears). Don't  mock my selection!

P.s. I realize gummy bears and ice cream make a fairly odd combination, but I just really wanted to eat some gummy bears!

Tummies full up, we decided it was time to roll ourselves home. Alexis and Rolando deposited me at my doorstep, and I waddled myself up the stairs and onto my bed where I took a nice little Sunday afternoon snooze (i.e. fell into a food coma). What a perfect way to spend the Sunday. 

Yuca is a staple of the Dominican diet. 

Served mashed in the form of Mangú...

Boiled with pickled onions...

Simmered in sancocho...

Or fried in a delightfully cheese-filled ball, you can pretty much eat it morning, noon, and night. And most Dominicans do. 
So in my attempt to conquer at least a few  recipes from the D.R., it seemed only natural that I should tackle this giant tuber. 

Ok so it may look a bit intimidating, being about 3 times the size of your normal potato and having dragon-scale tough skin, but that just means you get to pull out the big knife and have fun pretending you're a samurai warrior. 

That yucca will stand no chance against your awesome knife-wielding skills, which you probably learned from an ancient, wrinkled sensei in a hidden mountainside buddhist temple shrouded in mist. 

Once you've adequately kung fu chopped your yucca into 1 inch chunks, its boiling time. Simply add enough water to cover the yucca and a heaping teaspoon of salt and let those babies boil until they are fork tender, which will probably take about 10 minutes. Then drain them and add them back to the hot pot (the hot pot will continue to evaporate any moisture left in the yuca) and start your mashing. This entire process, by the way, is an excellent form of anger management and much cheaper than therapy. Perhaps why Dominicans are ranked as some of the happiest people in the world?? Perhaps :)
At this point, you could stop and add a few pats of butter and have some delicious mang'ú. Or, if you are looking for an added challenge, read on. 

Add a little milk and a little seasoning to your lovely yuca mash, and then the fun part, squish it around some hunky chunks of cheese and roll it into nice lumpy little ball. Warning: things could get a little messy here, just enjoy it. 

Dip the balls in a little egg wash, roll them in some bread crumbs, fry them up, and voila!

You now have a rave-worthy appetizer: crispy on the outside, creamy on the inside,  and dripping with ooey-gooey cheddary goodness--its kind of tastes like a baked potato that took a walk on the wild side. 

It will be hard not to eat these little guys all yourself, but you must remember to be nice and share. Trust me, your friends will thank you for it!
The complete recipe can be found at Aunt Clara´s Kitchen. 
(P.S. This recipe will make quite a few bollitos, so if you don´t think you can eat them all up in one night, it´s good to know that they freeze wonderfully. Just put them in an air-tight container in your freezer before the egg wash step. Then when you throw together a last-minute shin-dig, just defrost them in the microwave, batter ém, and fry ém. Easy Peasy.
 Also for your gringos who can´t find yuca, (or cassava in English), you could probably substitute potatoes and achieve a similar result)

Sex sells. And so do the rooms in the roadside cabañas located on the fringes of every city in the D.R. You can´t miss them. Painted in garish colors with flashing neon signs and suggestive names (Extasis, Singapur, Zeus), they practically ooze sex, which I suppose is ideal since that´s what they are designed for. 
If you haven't guessed, cabañas are basically cheap motels created for the sole purpose of secret rendezvous. 
I had the pleasure (shock) of visiting my first cabaña a couple days ago, but don't go jumping to conclusions just yet. We´ll get to that minor detail in a little bit. Primero, let´s talk about the cabañas. 
The first thing you should know is that they are set up so that you generally only pay for a small block of time, maybe just a couple of hours, although overnight options are available as well. Second, each room has its own garage. You simply drive in, and the garage door immediately falls behind you, insuring that no passersby will see your vehicle. So you can rest assured that nosy Miss Peabody that lives next door won´t be telling the whole neighborhood where she saw your car parked last night. 
Next, imagine your average Motel 8, downgrade it a couple times, and you´ve got yourself a room in a cabaña: a small, sparsely furnished space that could pass for a cabin on the Loveboat in the 70s (I´m told there are some really nice cabañas, but this one didn´t fit the bill) No windows, yellowish walls, burgundy bedspread, brass mirror, and flimsily shaded lamps throwing a sallow glow on the surroundings. These rooms are not without their redeeming factors though, one of which is instantaneous room service (also designed for complete discreetness).  Simply select your item of choice from the menu on the bedside table, write your order on the provided notepad, and place it in the little magic turning compartment in the wall. Spin the compartment and wait. Two seconds later elves (motel staff) on the other side of the wall will spin the compartment back to you with your heart´s desire and a small bill. Place the bill in the compartment, spin, and wait another two seconds. Soon it will spin back with your change. Truly magical. And you just know those elves on the other side of the thin plaster wall are not going to listen to a single thing that goes on in your bedroom. Elves wouldn´t do that would they? Ok so I know I said a few redeeming factors, but that´s really the only one I can think of. I´d talk to you about the bed, but I maintained a 10 foot radius at all times. 
So how DID I end up in this shady little joint? Let´s call it a miscommunication with Rico Suave. I thought I was communicating a "friend vibe," and he was too busy wrapped up in himself to notice anything I communicated at all. Something about my Americanness also seems to suggest "easy." Come on American girls, stop giving us that reputation!! Long story short, "I know a place where we can go for one more drink," ended up being a cabaña. Now as soon as we pulled in I knew where we were at and what the purpose of this little escapade was to be. And if I had a flair for the dramatic, this would be the point where I might turn and slap a boy. But alas, my curiosity about the shady interiors of these secretive little motels got the better of me and I went inside to check it out. We stayed just long enough to order a beer and then I made him take me home. Needless to say, there won´t be a second date. 

There are basically two main reasons why cabañas flourish here in the D.R., both directly related to culture. 
The first, ironically, has to do with strong family values. Family is extremely important in Dominican culture. Its not unusual for extended family members (aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents) to live under the same roof. The regular work day even has a built in two hour lunch break (12 p.m-2 p.m.) so workers and students can go home to have lunch with their families (an ideology I think the U.S. should consider adopting). And leaving the nest? A dramatic experience that may not occur until marriage. In fact, I´d say about 80 percent of my university students still happily live at home and will probably continue living there even after they graduate. But therein lies the dilemma. Where can these young 20-somethings, still living at home, go to spend some alone time with their girlfriend/boyfriend/date/? Certainly not under their parent´s roof.
The second reason for the popularity of cabañas might seem a little more obvious: affairs. The D.R. has an undeniably macho culture. Men are generally praised for their sexual prowess, women generally valued for their physical beauty. So it´s no shocker that faithfulness is a low value on the totem pole. And where better to steal away with your secret lover than a cozy little cabaña where there´s no proof you were ever there? 

But the cultural relevance of cabañas doesn´t stop there. To truly understand their existence, you first must understand a little more about the overall culture of the D.R.--- and the best way I can describe that is a strange collision of old world morals and modern day rap music videos.
I know, its weird. 
But having been a fairly isolated island under the Trujillo regime until the 1960s, the sudden crash with modern day culture (consumerism, technology, pop music) has left the little island reeling. Throw in a healthy dose of Catholicism (90 percent of the population) and you´ve got a country full of contradictions. And perhaps this is no place more apparent than in the realm of sexuality. On one side you have this conservative Catholic facade, on the other side, overt sexuality. The truly strange part is the arbitrary judgement when it comes to what is acceptable and what is condemned.
Half nude women on billboards. Ok. 
Graphic song lyrics. Ok.  
Encouraging your three-year-old to booty shake like a stripper (don´t laugh, I´ve seen it, on several occasions). Ok.
Kissing. Only if you are novios (gf and bf). 
Having a lot of friends of the opposite sex. Only if you are a boy. 
Wearing shorts. Not Ok.   
Living together out of wedlock: Ok. (But everyone will just pretend you are married.)

(These are all generalizations of course, but I have witnessed all of them)
I´ve given a few examples below to help you visualize.

Let´s take for example one of the songs (the music video is featured above) I´ve been hearing consistently the last few months. The name of the song is Menea Tu Chapa (shake your butt cheeks) with lyrics that look like this: "Ay, ay, ay, me gusta la chapa que suena placata." Roughly translated: "Ay, ay, ay, I like butt cheeks that make the sound placata." (Placata is apparently the sound butt cheeks make when they slap together as you are shaking them.) Ok, so admittedly this song makes me laugh. I mean, who comes up with a name for the sound that shaking butt cheeks make? Haha! But seriously, this is one of the most popular songs on the radio. I´ve heard it in conchos, on guaguas, in clothing stores, and even in restaurants. This is not a "respectable" song by any stretch of the imagination, but the guagua driver deems it perfectly acceptable music to play for all the passengers, old doñas and young chilrden alike, and nobody seems to mind. 
Then on the other hand, we have shorts. Even though the weather pushes 90 degrees most days of the year, wearing shorts, even of a good length, is considered by many a sign of indecency and low class. Although it seems completely ok to wear the tightest, most hip-hugging, low rise jeans you can find. Because those are so much more decent, right? (Doesn´t make sense to me either.)
So I have to sit in a crowded concho, listening to Menea tu Chapa and sweating profusely with my sticky hot jeans clinging to my legs because wearing shorts would be too indecent. Anybody else see the irony in this situation? 
And so it is with cabañas. They are the low-rise hip-hugger jeans of the Dominican fashion world.  The loophole around the sexual liberty stigma. Like the hip-huggers,  they´re consipicuous and they seem a bit sleezy, but nobody says anything about either of them. 
Sexual liberation? Not Ok. Secret sex behind closed doors? Well, that seems like a nifty alternative.

Ok amores, it's been a while but I'm back and bringing with me a can't miss recipe for pad thai. Now I know what you are thinking, "Pad Thai? What is wrong with this loca? She's in the D.R. and posting recipes from Thailand?! Jeesh!" But bear with me, because this little receta was the product of my search for a use for tamarindo. Now some of you may remember my first experience with tamarindo hace mucho tiempo (a looong time ago). Well long story short, after that incident I've been pretty hesitant when it comes to all things tamarindo. But it seems like I can't escape from this odd brown pod. I keep seeing it everywhere....in juice form, in concentrate form, in its natural unprocessed form- its a pretty popular item at the grocery stores and colmados here. Its the natural unprocessed form that's been intriguing me the most though. Sold in a pre-packaged brown goopy looking block, every time I passed by it in the produce isle I stared at it with a mixture of ill-disguised disgust and wonder. What on earth would one do with a package of goop like that? 
Finally my curiosity got the better of me (it almost always does), and I bought the block to take home for experimentation. 
Let the mad scientist-ing begin!

The first step was figuring out how to get this messy block of goop and seeds and roots and branches into an edible form. A little internet searching brought me to this site with an excellent explanation of what to do. Basically, just add the block of tamarindo to a pot of water and let it soak for 10 minutes. Use a ratio of 1 part tamarindo to 1 part water. I had one pound of tamarindo, so that meant 16 oz. of water. 
One your tamarindo is good and soaked, that's when the party gets started.
Take one hand (I recommend two for extra gloopy fun) and start squishing the seeds and roots to dislodge the sticky tamarindo substance stuck to the outside. 
Once you've squished off as much tamarindo as possible, its time to start getting rid of the big chunks of gunk that you don't want to eat. Just take a handful of your tamarind mixture and squeeze; the juice will come out and you'll be left with a pod/twig/root mixture to discard. Repeat this several times. Eventually you'll be left with a slightly less chunky mess. Now you want to strain what remains to get rid of the rest of the little chunks. 
Easy peasy.
The strained mixture that remains is your edible tamarind pulp. It will keep in a glass jar in the fridge for up to two weeks or in the freezer for several months. 

Ok, ok, ok, so you have your tamarind pulp, now the big question: "¿Diablo, what do I do with this?"
I have two options to propose to you. 1. You can go the very popular juice route and just follow the instructions found here. 
Or 2., you can make the best Pad Thai in the world. No joke. Best Pad Thai IN THE WORLD. 
Obviously I´m a big proponent of option 2. 

Now I have to give all credit to The Savory Sweet Life, since I copied her recipe and tweaked it a little too suit my needs and love of extra veggies. 

Ingredients

• ⅓ cup oyster sauce (the original recipe calls for fish sauce, but I couldn´t find it)
• ½ cup dark brown sugar
• ½ cup fresh squeezed tamarind pulp (Here´s where you get to put that tamarindo to good use!)
• 4 cloves garlic, minced
• 4 ounces dried rice stick noodles
• 6 tablespoons vegetable oil, divided
• 4 cloves garlic, minced
• 1 cup red onion, thinly sliced
• 1 cup red bell pepper, thinly sliced
• 1 ½ cups thinly sliced chicken, beef, pork, shrimp, or tofu (pre-cooked and shredded rotisserie chicken works great)
• 1 egg
• 1 cup carrots, peeled into ribbons
• 1 cup green beans, steamed. 
• cup green onion cut diagonal in ½ inch segments
• 1 cup mung bean sprouts
• cup cilantro
• 1 cup toasted peanuts chopped
• Lime wedge

Instructions

1. To make pad thai sauce, heat a small pan on medium low and add oyster sauce, palm sugar, tamarind pulp, and garlic. Cook sauce until sugar has completely dissolve. At this point, you will want to taste the sauce and tweek the sweetness or hotness (be careful, the sauce will be hot). To make it more spicy add red chili flakes. Remove from heat and allow to cool 10 minutes before storing it in a jar or plastic container.
2. Boil noodles for 4-5 minutes and drain immediately rinsing with cold water for a few seconds. Noodles should be slightly firmer than Al dente. But don’t worry, they will continue to soften and cook later when stir frying. Using kitchen shears, cut the noodle clump in half. This will make it easier to fry and eat.
3. Heat 3 tablespoons of oil in a wok or frying pan on high and cook raw chicken, pork, beef, tofu or shrimp for 3-4 minutes. (If you are using pre-shredded rotisserie chicken, which I recommend for eases, simply skip this step) Remove meat/tofu/seafood into a small bowl. Next, heat the remaining oil and then add garlic and red onions and red peppers to the hot pan and stir fry for 1 minute stirring the garlic mixture so it will not burn. Add noodles and stir for 1 minute. Add 3-4 tablespoons Pad Thai sauce continually stirring noodle mixture until well coated with sauce. Add cooked meat/tofu/seafood back and fry for 2-3 minutes. Move the noodle and meat mixture to one side of the pan and crack an egg on the other side. Scramble the egg with a wooden spoon and cook for 30 seconds. Add carrots, green beans, green onions, and sprouts and cook for one more minute frying everything together. Test the firmness of the noodle. If the noodle is too firm, fry for an additional minute. If your noodles need more flavor, add another tablespoon of sauce and fry another half minute. Remove from heat and serve. Garnish with remaining raw carrots, spouts, cilantro, toasted peanuts, and wedges of lime. Enjoy!

Of course, this recipe can be a little time consuming to put together, but the silver lining is that EVERYTHING can be prepared in advance and stored in the fridge. So if you´re planning on serving it for a dinner party (to secretly woo your guests into falling in love with you and singing of your brilliance until the end of days...which I highly recommend) then its a snap to whip together.

Pad Thai Sauce ingredients (I added a little lime for extra flava)

The rest of the ingredients.

You can steam your green beans and boil your noodles in advance.

My favorite part...peeling the carrots. Its a dead boring job. Unless you pretend like your a scullery maid, off on a grand adventure, peeling veggies for a rough-and-tumble pirate crew sailing their way across the seven seas. Suddenly cannons boom (you've accidentally knocked a pot off the counter), and the crew scrambles to man the deck (the cats come running in to see what the commotion is about). The pirate ship is under fire! You can hear the thud of feet and the clank of swords above you. The enemy must have boarded the ship. You tuck a boning knife into your apron strings and leap into the stairwell to do your part, but a grizzly old man with a scar scratched along one cheekbone is standing in your way. He smiles a crooked, rotting smile and you can see one golden tooth gleaming to match the evil sparkle in his eye. Just as you twist to get away he grabs your arm and......and see! I told you peeling carrots was the best! I bet you want to know how this pirate adventure ends. But I'm not going to tell you. Go peel your own carrots! :)

Once you've sufficiently oohed and awed your guests, and turned down a couple of marriage proposals (probably from both men and women), you can spend the rest of your night sipping wine or cold beer and catching up with your friends in the warm Santiago night air. 
And later, if you have the awesomest of friends, like I do, they will want to play , "Quién soy yo?" (Who am I?)

Amber is deep in concentration

Oh hey there´s me! 
I don´t know it yet, but I am Kim Kardashian. Can you see the resemblance?

Of course you´ll need to end your night with a little dessert. Nothing goes better with Pad Thai than Oreos. Trust me on this one. 

Look what happens when you get curious about a little bit of tamarind--- pad thai, pirate adventures, and fun times with good friends. Stay curious mis amores, stay curious.